Looking Back, Looking Forward

I've never considered myself very brave. In fact, the older I get, the more readily I admit that I am downright cowardly sometimes and oftentimes a worry wart. These were things that I was not willing to admit when I was younger. It was something that I'd gladly hide inside. But nowadays, I can admit that some things really scare me. I take risks but only after a lot of thought. So here I am, pretty amazed at this past year's journey.

When I began contemplating going back to school, it was a very scary proposition. I had a lot of self-doubt. And that surprises a lot of people. I must have done a good job of coming across as capable of doing these kinds of things. But really, I am most often my worst critic. I tend to underestimate my abilities because I am so afraid of letting people down, including myself.

So it's not with a boastful heart that I say, that I am really proud of myself. Thanks to God and to my great family, we all made it through this year fine! I was worried that I'd have my nose buried in books and have very little time for anything else. I imagined laundry piled up in the laundry room. A dirty, filthy house and eating corn dogs and mac and cheese every night! (Now, what an optimistic picture!) But when it comes to unknowns, I really can be pretty imaginative. I realized quickly that school was very enjoyable. Even with the massive amounts of reading, presentations, writing papers and tests, it was really a lot of fun. Our family learned to manage with me being in school.

I learned to trust more this year. When I was in ministry, I thought that I was learning that all along. And I was. But this was different. And it's been a great journey that God has really wired me to minister in this particular way. I find that school was enjoyable because I had further discovered my real passion: helping people through counseling.

I guess I could really go on quite a bit about this year's journey. But I am so thankful that God allowed me to do this. Even as I continue attending classes and feel the weight of the work, I am grateful. More than ever, I've come to appreciate my family in new ways. I also celebrate the fact that our family is really celebrating milestones together.

Karsten has graduated from preschool and will be stepping into kindergarten in the fall. Zachary will be entering second grade! Jason has found a great niche at his job too.

It feels like a big year in so many ways. We grew our extended family through connecting with my birth mom. We are planning on going together as a family in July. The kids are eager. They can't wait to see my family in person. We have been able to skype and that helps us stay connected. So we have lots to look forward to. I am truly thankful for all that God has done for our family this year.

I pray that you too are experiencing some of the best times of your life. Remember, some of your best moments come when you can take that risk despite the fear.