The Zoo At Wal Mart

A couple of weeks ago, I headed out to get groceries by myself and run some errands. For a stay at home, this can be a luxury. One such time, my sister called me while I was "out" and she asked me what I was doing. "I'm on a Caribbean cruise to Wal Mart," I said. And at times being out away from the kids can feel like that.

But this time, it was no Caribbean cruise. It seemed like every aisle had shoppers and I was navigating a maze of shopping carts, people standing in the middle of aisles and much more traffic within the store than I anticipated. After having made my purchases, I made it back home.

"It was a zoo at Wal Mart!" I exclaimed as I took my coat and boots off. Jason commented that people must be doing their Christmas shopping. I thought no more of that trip.

Until yesterday when we were sitting at the table, Karsten asked me, "Mom, you're not going to Wal Mart anymore days, are you?"

"Well, I'm not going today, but some day I'll go there again," I replied. Wondering where this was coming from.

"But you said there's a zoo at Wal Mart!" Karsten exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah," I said recalling what I had said a couple of weeks ago.

"Mom, what kinds of animals were at that zoo at Wal Mart?" Karsten asked curiously.

I laughed out loud. I should have told him there were the two legged kind, hunting for the perfect bargain.

I thought of how literal our kids are. But in some ways, they can be so right on. :0)

Cookies and Christmas

Christmas seems to always bring out the sweeter side of things. This month has been a month of baking for us. Three of the family members have a sweet toothe. I don't. But I love to make sweet things, as long as someone else eats it! Baking and the smell of cookies makes it seem like Christmas time. Add a little snow outside and some Christmas music and I'm all set for baking.

The boys love to bake. Zachary made a ginger bread house at school and Karsten helped bake some cookies at home.

Little Photographers

The kids' favorite thing about Jason's new job is that when he gets home, they ask for his Iphone. He doesn't own it but the company lets each employee use it for a few months at a time. There's lots of games on there to play. But their favorite is to use the camera on there.

Close-up of Karsten by Zachary.

Karsten taking a picture of himself.

Zachary taking a picture of himself in front of the mirror.

Intense

Karsten playing an intense game of fishing. Zachary took this picture.

Our Family Through Karsten's Eyes

Karsten, Zachary, dad and mom and Jasmine barely on the page...way over there.

The kids color and draw so many things that I can't keep track of them all. I assign each of them a grocery bag and each one has their many pieces of artwork and school work (for Zachary) collected in there. Karsten draws very interesting people. I think Zachary used to draw really big heads and really big hands on people. I thought I should put this somewhere so, sometime down the road when his drawings change, we can see how it's changed. Karsten draws really long legs, but no arms and as Zachary pointed out, no neck.

Christmas Past

Jason and I started out with just us the first Christmas. Then it was us and Jasmine. I think those pictures were taken on 35mm camera and they don't exist in the digital world.

Then we had our first Christmas with a baby in 2003.

Zachary still had the house to himself in 2004. This would be his last Christmas as the only child.

Brother comes along in 2005 and it becomes apparent that he likes to ham it up.

Last year would be our last year in our old house and at our church and we wouldn't know that we'd be spending Christmas 2008 in a different house and different city.

We probably won't send a Christmas card picture this year, but we will take pictures of the boys in front of the tree. My side of the family takes turns hosting Christmas and we will get to host in our home this year. Lots of things have changed in the past Christmases...and who knows what will be different next year, that we didn't expect? It's fun to cherish the memories through looking back at pictures...

What Charlie Brown Taught Me

I was so impressed by Charlie Brown and his friends. I watched the special with my kids and I learned a lot about Thanksgiving. I always knew what we were taught in school and I think what most of us were taught.

We think of pilgrims in black and white outfits and Indians sharing in a bountiful harvest. And maybe we remember a ship called the Mayflower, but that's about it.

But Charlie Brown did a good job showing that the settlers were risking their lives for religious freedom in a new world. And they suffered a great deal. Traveling in cramped quarters on a swaying ship left many of them sick. And half the group died on the ship. They encountered freezing winters and inadequate food. The ship became a hospital for the dying once they arrived in the new land and their first home became a hospital as well. The children began to take over the duties of the adults because only a few adults were well at any given time.

But through the story, it was clear that the people relied on their faith and their God. It was refreshing to have something told as it happened and not just what we want to remember.

It brought to me fresh meaning for what people were willing to risk and how they truly had much to be thankful for. I also heard on a program that even though they had a bountiful harvest and had much to be thankful for, it was not happily ever after. The Pilgrims still suffered, still had times where they had to ration food and fought to survive.

This Thanksgiving, I hope we remember that we are thankful to our God through good times and bad. Whether we have plenty of we live in want. There is definitely plenty of food to be thankful for. But we also have friendship and our faith that we celebrate as well.

Thankful

We have a new habit at the dinner table. We say a short prayer. Usually Karsten leads with a simple prayer. Then we ask each other: "What are you thankful for?"

I underestimated the kids' answers. I thought it would be simple things like: my toys, watching cartoons. But what they said were things like: "I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for when daddy comes home from work. I'm thankful for Zachary coming home from school. I'm thankful for our new bunk beds."

And one day, Zachary said, "I'm thankful that God is with us." I teared up thinking about that. He is with us. And how awesome that Zachary recognizes that.

The kids prompt us and say: "Mom! What are YOU thankful for?" One night, after some thought, I said, "I'm thankful that I get to stay home with you guys." When we first moved, staying home with the boys was harder than I thought. The change was hard. Not working, not going, not doing and not being in constant motion was hard. But now, I'm thankful for my new life. This suits me. I can't imagine being constantly going, being stressed out and unbalanced. This life of being able to spend time with the boys. Baking gingerbread men. Going to the library. Going to the grocery store. Reading stories. Doing projects. It's all a part of a life that I'm thankful for,

So our new habit at the dinner table helps us to all reflect. What are we thankful for? It's a daily reminder that we have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful that God allowed this change in our lives. It helps me to appreciate those people closest to me.

Baby Blues

Sometimes it takes something really small to make me a blubbering idiot, irrational person.

My pregnant sister sat at the kitchen table and we watched her stomach make these little tiny movements. We all sat and watched as if we were watching history in the making. We couldn't see the baby, but we saw its movements. It brought back memories of how wonderful it was to feel the baby moving. We talked about when Karsten would move like crazy when he heard music. And down that path of reminiscing we went.

Then me, who has a five and three year old and gets cranky when they wake me up too early in the morning, started having this feeling, "I want a baby." Then, I tried to reason away getting up in the middle of the night several times a night. Changing dirty diapers, having spit up all over my clothes and all of those other things seemed irrelevant. But I couldn't do this. I couldn't possibly want a baby right now. Our kids are in a whole new stage. We're pass diapers and pacifiers.

But here we were post baby shower, sitting around the table and for a fleeting moment, I lost my sanity and wanted to delve back into that world with all my being. Then, somewhere along the line, reality slapped me in the face. I looked at my sister and thought, "Ok, I'll come and hold your baby, smell the baby and treasure the baby and hand him back to you. Get in my car, sleep through the night and think, 'what was I thinking?"

The truth is, it's better to get over this feeling quickly. Because if I mentioned this to Jason, he would check my forehead to see if I have a temp and then simply say "no".

If you have a baby and live nearby, we can arrange for free babysitting. I can hold babies for a very long time without tiring of it. Call me. :-) Then, I'll hold your baby and give them back to you. You get the break, I get my reality check.

Short

I notice that when we're short on the inside, we're short on the outside.

I don't mean our height.

I mean when we become short with people. Our kids, our husbands or those driving on the road. We tend to snap rather than talk and we grump rather than oblige. We get short.

I noticed that when we're short on sleep, short on food, short on patience, short on peace inside, we get short on the outside.

So, the next time you're sort of short with those around you, check to see if maybe you're really short inside. Short of the breaks, the reserve, the sanity that keeps us from seeing people and situations as irritants.

I am definitely short in stature and I can't change that. In fact, I've come to accept it gladly. But I don't like being short with people. And I don't ever want to just accept that. When I begin to get short with people on the outside, I need to check to see what I'm really short on, on the inside.

Don't Become Weary In Doing Good

Sometimes seeing our loved ones in a different context helps us to see them in a new way and it can increase our appreciation for who they are.

It seems we see our kids day after day and we can see their shortcomings or what needs to be corrected rather than what's really special about them.

I volunteered at Zachary's school and it was neat to see Zachary in a different setting among other kids his age. I realized what an incredible little person he is. I really got to see him being this unique human being, learning new things and interacting with other kids in such a loving way.

It put into perspective the countless times that it felt like I was repeating myself. "Please don't do that. Not right now. Please finish your food. Please settle down." And as moms, we feel like our days are filled with giving instruction over and over and we wonder if it's getting through. Then, we see them in a setting where they're practicing what we've been teaching them. Yes, it was all somehow being incorporated into who they were.

If we can remember that what we are doing now, doesn't always show immediate results, we'll be more inclined to be patient with ourselves and patient with our loved ones. It reminds me of the verses in the Bible that reads: Galatians 6:9-10 "So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith."

We continue to love, instruct, guide and give because we know that it will yield a crop in the lives of those we touch eventually. Isn't it good to know that God knew that we would feel fatigued doing good and that we would need encouragement? Whether it's parenting, marriage, family relationships or our jobs, we can know that God encourages us to do good, even when we don't see a "crop" right away.

Mashing Pumpkin

Sometimes I really get a notion to do things from "scratch".

So when we went to the pumpkin patch, I thought it would be cool to get a real "pie pumpkin" to make pumpkin goodies, rather than buy pumpkin in a can.

I had no idea that making pumpkin puree from scratch was so labor intensive. After the whole experience, the pumpkin in the can sure looked convenient.

I started by cutting the pumpkin in half and digging out the seeds and stringy stuff. We saved the seeds to bake (another ordeal).

Then I had to peel the pumpkin and cut it up. I baked it in the oven (after researching it online). Then I let it cool and tried to use a food processor but it was too chunky and didn't process. So I mashed the daylight out of it. Then I actually put it in a mixing bowl and tried to whip it. It ended up being very orange and very lumpy. But I measured it out and froze some and put some in the refrigerator to make some pumpkin pancakes.

The seeds, I boiled and seasoned and baked. They turned out really pretty tasty.

After all of this, I was rather proud for having taken a pumpkin from a patch and taking it through the process of being pureed. And I'll even be more proud when I use it in a recipe. But as I looked at the pumpkin in the can sitting on a shelf, I really thought the whole making it from scratch was a bit overrated. Especially as I thought of myself mashing that pumpkin. Some things we totally take for granted. Pumpkin in a can represents many hours. I know. I tried it. But I bet when I taste those pumpkin pancakes, I will totally be able to tell that it was made with homemade pumpkin. :-)

Turning Around

"You are now on the wrong track," Jason's phone repeated as we made a detour.

We actually used the GPS system that he has in his phone on the way home from a trip to the orchard. In fact, as we kept going on the wrong track, it told us to make a U-turn ahead and get back on the right track.

We knew where we were going, but decided to check out a nearby college campus.

But as I listened to Jason's phone tell us that we were now on the wrong track, I wished that it would be just that clear when I had made a wrong track in life. We're sailing along and we may get a sense that maybe this isn't the way we're supposed to be going.

I remember many times when I was driving and I couldn't recognize where I was going and instead of turning around or getting directions, I kept driving thinking that sooner or later I would recognize something. Almost always, I ended up turning around, but I had miles to retrace. I would argue with myself about the fact that I should just stop and turn around as soon as I get that sense I'm headed in the wrong direction.

I wish I could say I've never done that in my spiritual life. I wish that I've never had to retrace my steps and go back in the right direction.

We may not all have a GPS in our car or on the phone, but as believers, we do have One Who does give us direction. It may not be as clear as "turn right in 50 feet." But He does give us a sense of where we should be headed. He does tell us when we need to turn around.

Ultimately, we will end up making lots of U-turns. Do we wait until we have traveled many miles on the wrong track or as soon as we sense that it's time to turn around?

I've learned that traveling on the wrong track longer doesn't make it a right track eventually. Turning around might be the best way to get back on the track.

Not Over

Some of you don't know me well and when you read this, it may not make much sense. You may know me well and it still may not make much sense.

I went to Duluth this past weekend to perform a wedding. And I was unprepared for my heart to break all over again. Seeing some of the people from what used to be "our" church, made me ache all over again as if I were saying good bye to them again.

It dawned on me that we spent a good chunk of our lives there and it wasn't going to take a mere few months to be healed. We actually spent most of our entire married lives there in the Duluth area digging out the church. We learned a lot, we faced many challenges, trials and became shaped through those experiences.

Even though we know that God made it clear that it was time to move on, apparently the heart still has to process it. I've been in a hurry. I wanted to be able to move on and build a new life here. But I still have a gaping hole that needs mending and healing.

So I'm acknowledging that I'm still sad. It's not really over for me yet. I miss our people. I want to be able to say I'm OK and that this new life is taking over. But it's very much a process and I am still not there yet. Eventually, I will be. But today, I feel like my heart is still there. I don't know how long it will be before I feel like I can really move on. I'm trying.

I think we underestimate our need to really grieve. I think we want to hurry it along. We may even inadvertently hurry others along. We want them to be OK. We want to be OK. But the truth is, I realized after this weekend that it wasn't going to be overnight that I would be able to really grieve the loss, the change and heading into a new direction. And I'm OK with that. I'm not quite finished grieving and though it's been a few months, it's not quite enough time for me to in that place where my eyes don't well up with tears.

Encouraging Verses

Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message) Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one Who will keep you on track.

A Historical Perspective

Normally, I'm not a big museum fan, unless it's a kid one, but we decided to go to the Stearns Historical Museum today. I thought the kids might like their kids display and they did.

It surprised me that I actually gained something from there, other than the history of Stearns county.

We don't really have it that bad. I mean, really, we don't.

With all of the anxiety and concerns with our economy, gas prices, bail outs and prices of everything from food to health care, we don't have it that bad.

As I saw the pictures and read clips of how people made it when they first moved to establish the St. Cloud area, I realized how relatively easy we have it.

Work was so physical, trying to make it each day. Many people farmed to provide food and some income and this was extremely demanding and labor intensive. Women worked just as hard from early morning til midnight. Sewing, mending and washing was done after dinner, when men went out to make furniture or chop wood. People usually went to bed very late at night, working nonstop to make it. Some men died very young and left widows with small children. The women then worked tirelessly trying to survive.

Then they mentioned the unbearably cold winters with musty straw beds and lice and mice. Keeping food cold in the summer or keeping it from freezing in the winter caused problems too.

We live in an age where we have machines that regulate the temperature of our food. Our clothes are washed in a machine and dried too. We usually don't worry about freezing to death in the winter or roasting in the summer. We have transportation that takes us to places in minutes.
While it seems because we are used to these amenities, we think that we are entitled to them, we're not. And pioneers sacrificed and worked hard to survive. If they lived in our age, with the many benefits we have, they might see our current economy differently.

We have become people who have a sense of entitlement. We can't afford everything that is out there, but we can afford plenty. And we don't seem to appreciate the things that we do have.

I walked out of the museum feeling as if I am very fortunate to be living in this age. Yes, there are other trade offs, but I don't labor all day to wash my family's clothes. I don't spend a great deal of time raising my own food and finding ways to preserve it for the winter.

I know it's hard, but there are lots of things that we could easily do without and still live. There are many things that we consider a necessity because we have learned to let them become necessities.

Sometimes tough times can cause us to really look at what is really important to us. May we keep things in perspective and not become overcome by our circumstances.

The Struggles of A Stay At Home Mom

I started a new job a few months ago. I've wanted this job for the last five years.

The demands are high, it can be really lonely, I do multiple things, my tasks can change each day, it can be monotonous, I don't get a paycheck and lose my sanity at least once a day. I've become a stay at home mom.

I had no idea that staying at home with kids could be so challenging.

There's really no training and I didn't know what to expect until I was staying at home everyday.

Even though it's the job that I love, it's a job that requires much more from me than any other job I've had. Most people picture stay at home moms sitting down on the couch watching soaps, but this is far from it.

Too many people don't account for how much moms miss interactions with adults and having adult conversations.

They don't realize what it's like to have your name worn out.

They don't realize how making a meal can feel like the biggest task---because we make so many of them.

We wonder if we're doing enough. Do we take time for ourselves and let the kids occupy themselves? How much TV is too much TV? Is it normal to feel so alone? Is my job worthwhile? Should I be doing something more "productive"?

We moms, often have nothing else to measure how well we do or get an evaluation. We might get some appreciation or acknowledgment but even that feels few and far between.

Yet, when we can connect with other stay at home moms, we realize how very normal we are, in the questions that we have and the day to day stuff that can get to us.

And most every mom will agree that the sacrifices and occasional loss of sanity (or permanent loss) is worth it. We love our kids and we know that having them with us is a trade off that we'd make, if given the chance to do it. So we do. And we're glad.

But we do want to know that what we do is important and we are grateful for other moms who do what we do. So if you're a stay at home mom today, chances are, you have wondered if you're doing ok. Chances are, you are. And if you need to, regain your sanity by talking to other moms who know exactly what you're facing. And celebrate the fact that you are doing something very important and you are making a difference.

When Winning Is Everything

Sometimes winning can be everything. Especially if it's someone else who is winning.

The boys and I were playing a board game the other night and Zachary won the first game. Which he celebrated with a dance. Karsten took this hard and said it was "no fair." But the second game, Karsten won and he cheered for himself. As we were playing the third game, Zachary leaned over and said, "Mom, I sure hope you win this time," and gave me a hug. Karsten agreed. Thankfully, I did win and they both cheered.

On the following day, while Zachary was at school, Karsten and I played "slap Jack." And for a while, I really had to delay my response so that Karsten would have a fighting chance. After a few times, he got it. A Jack came up and I waited for him to slap it and I noticed that he wasn't doing anything. "Karsten, look!" I said. "I know! I want you to win mama," as he smiled and leaned over to give me a hug.

There are plenty of times they compete and fight to win. Then, there are these times when they make me so glad that I'm their mom and I get to watch them really celebrate watching someone else win.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all wish for other people to win?

People In Houses

Sometimes as I write this it feels like feast or famine. Two entries in one day hasn't happened in a long time.

When we first moved here, I didn't know if we'd ever feel at home. I was kind of walking around and all I could see was house all around us. I was blue.

Then as if I had put on some new glasses, things started changing.

I worked my tail off painting and it helped me to really claim this house as ours. Colors that I chose were now on the wall. (Jason really gives me a lot of freedom here. He trusts that I won't paint anything hot pink.)

Then, we went from knowing our neighbors names to knowing about their lives. And that made all the difference in the world. I was feeling more like I belonged here.

All in a week, I realized that with a handful of neighbors we had past the awkward "getting to know you" stage to, "I feel comfortable around you" stage. And it made conversation easier and it made it feel like we were now "home."

Today was unusual (even the ones who've lived here a long time said so) in that nearly every single neighbor was outside and we were all talking. And there's something really pretty awesome about all of your neighbors getting together for no good reason but just to chat. The kids were all flying back and forth on bikes, motorized vehicles and what have you.

Each neighbor has their own story of when they got here and how this young neighborhood developed around them. Really quite eye-opening to hear it from each individual's account.

And I realize that as winter approaches, less people will be outside. But what a cool thing to see neighbors getting together to chat.

And you know, maybe I am getting used to being surrounded by houses. Because now I know the people living inside them.

First Day Review

The school bus rolled up to the corner of our street. The stop sign came out from the side of the bus and the lights flashed but no one got off.

"No one at this stop!" the bus driver hollered out the window.

For a moment I panicked thinking that somehow Zachary must have not made it on the bus. I imagined him sitting at the school in the office or maybe he was on the bus but not knowing what to do.

"I have a son that should be on that bus," I hollered back. "His name is Zachary."

The bus driver looked up in his rearview mirror and said something. There was no response. I couldn't see in the bus. I wondered if maybe Zachary really wasn't on the bus. But my suspense was broken when Zachary's smiling face appeared from around the bus. He ran across the street and threw his arms around me.

"I missed you mom!' he exclaimed. "I had fun! Can I ride the bus again?"

I was relieved to have Zachary back home safe and sound. His neighbor friend also greeted him by throwing her arms around him. As soon as we got to the garage, Zachary threw off his backpack and he was playing. I asked him questions and he was really nonchalant. It was a big day, but not a big deal. There weren't specifics. Just this big smile and eagerness to go back again.

Later, I heard bits and pieces of what he did during the day. But the important thing was he made it through his first day. And so did I.

First Day of Kindergarten

I've joined the millions of parents who have brought their oldest child off to their first day of kindergarten. It wasn't nearly as traumatic since we've already brought him to preschool. So today was more about making the transition from attending every other day, to every day. But Zachary will still be attending just half a day.

To top it off, he will get to ride the bus, the short distance from our house to the school. This seems to excite him more than going to school itself.

But this morning, Karsten and I escorted him to school. Zachary was excited and there wasn't even a tiny bit of apprehension or nervousness. I admired his bravery, since if it was me in his shoes, I might be a little nervous. I'd wonder about the other kids and if they would be nice or if the teacher was going to be someone I liked. But Zachary had no such questions or inklings. He was just glad to wear his Spiderman backpack and go into his classroom to check it out.

On the way in, Zachary asked, "When am I going to college mom?" College??? I was thinking that we have a rather ambitious kid on our hand. Karsten then piped up, "Yeah, when am I going to college mom?" I told them that they could go when they were much bigger.

After we got him settled in, Karsten and I headed home. He's enjoying the house minus his big brother. And I am enjoying the thought that one day both of them will be in school.

As I watched Zachary really embrace this change of going to school, I realized how much we can learn from kids. I tend to approach the new and unknown with uncertainty. Zachary was more interested in advancing to college, on his very first day of kindergarten.

I am really looking forward to him coming home to tell me all about his first day. What was it like? Did you have fun? How was the bus ride home?

I can't believe my baby is such a big boy already. Thank goodness I still have one baby left at home.

Painting Shorts

I have an old pair of cut off sweat shorts that I wear to paint. And they are getting bits of color here and there as I work my way through my painting projects in the house.

When we moved, the house was completely white inside with the exception of the main bathroom that beheld dark forest green wallpaper accented by a equally dark floral border. Needless to say, my first project was taking that wallpaper down.

We've now been in the house two months and I got the painting fever and I'm still painting. I'm outfitted in my "painting outfit." I wear my painting shorts and my tie dyed shirt that for whatever reason seems immune to getting smudges of paint.

My painting shorts have red smudges from our second house that got a red kitchen. (Our first house had a red kitchen too). It has gray from this house, when I painted our bedroom. It also has blue smudges from the boys' bedroom. And the most recent smudge added on is a cargo green from our living room. I actually leaned right into the wall, so that smudge is actually quite big.

Whenever I put the shorts on, I know it's time to paint. When I'm done painting for a season, I gladly put them away in my drawer and don't put them on again. They may occasionally get a wear if I'm working outside, but mostly, they're just for painting.

Right about now, after I painted the boys' room, our very large living room and now the main bathroom, I don't want to wear my painting short for awhile.

A Kid's Life

Karsten
Zachary

Sometimes when life gets all serious and complicated, it's our five and three year old who know how to lighten up the mood. What's not to like about being a kid? You can dress up, pretend, roll around the floor and let it all out.

The County Fair and Fried Foods

Some things go hand in hand. They make a great combination. Chips and salsa. Summer and grilling. The county fair and fried food.

There's something to it. It may cost an arm and a leg, but we all stand in line for those mini donuts, corn dogs and greasy burgers. As we were walking towards the fair, I commented "I can smell the fair." We smelled a combination of donuts and french fries.

I am one of the thousands of people who eagerly wait with money in hand and stand in line and woof down all that fried food. But I don't get the appeal. Normally, a diet like that would disgust me. I can't explain what it is about the fair that makes me crave mini donuts and smell my way to the stand when we go to the fair. Last weekend, we had the perfect mini donuts which were made to order. They weren't sitting getting soggy, but the guy expertly dropped the batter into the grease and fried them a light golden brown. They were too hot to eat right away but it was well worth the wait.

And now that the kids are older, they pull us along to those rickety little rides that also cost an arm and a leg. Normally, we couldn't justify spending $3 for a three minute ride, but here at the fair, we let them ride (hopefully without too much risk of those rides falling apart).

Something about the warm air, the tantalizing smells of food, zig zagging through the crowds, smelling the stables with animals makes us feel like we're really a part of the community. It's a weird phenomenon. I don't get it. But it draws us back every summer, just to be a part of it.

The fair in it's weird ways, has that appeal, for so many of us. It must be the mini donuts. All I know is that as long as there are mini donuts, I'll be at the fair.

Feeling More Like Home

It's been about five weeks and I realize now that I don't feel like a stranger in this home.

I get up in the middle of the night and I don't feel lost.

I have even thought of our other house and now, the truth be told, it would feel weird to be in that house.

We have now had nearly all of my siblings here for a visit. My best friend and a friend from Brainerd has been here. Having friends here makes it more like home.

I've given directions to several people now and did ok.

I can drive to get groceries and have been to many more places the past few weeks that makes me feel more comfortable within the city. For the first few (or maybe the whole month) I would be driving and I'd make a u-turn nearly every time I went out, because I was lost. "Are you lost again mommy?" my kids would ask. I huffed, "Yes, I am lost again."

I've relaxed about getting everything painted. The walls are cream...so what?? It's just that I really crave some color and personality in this place that reflects more of who we are.

I am really just embracing this process of getting adjusted and I'm much happier for it.

The kids now just call it "home" instead of: "Are we going to the new place?"

As an answer to my own question, "when does a house become a home?" Somewhere around five weeks, one starts feeling as if it's not going to take forever to feel as if this house will become home.

The Shack

It's been a very, very long time since I read a fiction book. It happened to be the BEST fiction book that I've read. I read "The Shack" and I heard an interview with the author one day and the very following day, I talked to a friend who read it. If you read any book this summer that will change your outlook and the way you live life, read "The Shack."

It is truly a metaphorical book really describing God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and their desire for relationship with humans. It moved me, inspired me, brought me to tears and made me think about my life again in ways that made me want to experience true communion with our heavenly Father.

It's a book that will reengage those who already believe. It's a book that will invite those who are still asking questions and those who believe but have little passion may just find that they totally awaken when they read this book.

The author has a great imagination and uses vivid imagery to describe this experience that we all long for...without always knowing it.

If you have any questions at all about God, grab this book and enjoy.

Expert Toy Picker Upper

They say necessity is the mother of invention. We could say that necessity is the mother of excuses. Our kids come up with the most clever excuses for not cleaning up their toys. We do our share of getting after our kids to pick up their toys. So much so, when I saw a sign in a kid shop that said: "Pick Up Your Toys" in glittery letters, I almost bought it, hung it up and made my kids memorize it.

We've heard all kinds of excuses like:

"My legs are too tired." (And how do your legs pick up anything anyway?)

"They're (the toys are) too heavy."

"I didn't play with these, he did." (Blame it on the brother tactic used for lots of other things too.)

We've threatened to throw them away. Karsten's response? "Throw them away! Throw them away!"

I've heard lots of excuses but Zachary came up with a new one tonight.

"Hey mom, there's a card missing in that game. Can you go get it and put it away? I'm really busy right now."

"How about you go pick it up and put it away when you're done?" I reply.

"I can't. I'm not an expert at putting away toys," he replies.

An expert?

"Well, you better practice so you can become and expert at picking up at toys," I reply.

And believe me, I can't wait til he is an expert at picking up toys. I know I don't need the practice.

Birthdays Are Getting Better

Some things really change when we get older. We don't wait with anticipation the way we used to. It's not the same.

When I was a kid, a birthday was a BIG deal. It wasn't about turning a year older, it was about cake and presents. When I was a kid, when it was our birthday, we didn't have to do any chores...all day. We picked out our favorite meal and mom would make it. We also got to have the kind of cake that we wanted. I used to eat spaghetti almost every single birthday, followed by strawberry shortcake.

After we ate, we opened presents. We always had to be reminded to open the cards first. We tore into the presents and couldn't wait to see what we got.

And now, it's become much tamer. I don't wait with anticipation. For too long, I let the day pass me by just like any other. It wasn't that I wanted it to. Part of it was bringing two different traditions from two backgrounds together and another was that we were always busy.

But the last two years, I broke out of the mold with the help of my childhood friend. To recapture the bliss of celebrating our day, we plan on a day where we can shop and hang out. It's the new celebration.

This year, two of my sisters joined the fun. We laughed so hard at times, that I couldn't see.

We're not kids anymore, it's true. We don't do the whole cake and ice-cream or tear open our presents. But we should pause and really do something to celebrate...because we have every other day to be busy, to be ordinary, to be routine and un-birthday. But our birthday comes around once a year--and we should celebrate it for the kid inside.

Wallpaper Part II

Some sayings in life are really true: it's easier to prevent a mess rather than clean it up. And not all messes are able to be cleaned up.

As I was laboring to really remove the ugly wallpaper from our bathroom wall, I realized that messes made are much harder to clean up than if we had never made a mess at all.

We all have been in a mess we've created or someone else has created. It always seem to take less effort to make the mess and a whole lot of time to clean it up.

Interestingly enough, if I am in an emotional upheaval of some sort, I can't seem to function very well until it's resolved. I didn't see that having this wallpaper project lingering in my life was a lot like having a mess in my emotional life. It was hard to function. Granted, this was much easier to resolve and having closure was within a few days. But it felt like if things weren't quite right and when I completed the project, I felt normal again.

It did make me think though of those situations that never get resolved and those messes that take years to clean up.

I heard a preacher talk a couple of Sundays ago about how when Moses' people were complaining, God sent snakes into the camp to bite them. And people died. But then they repented and God told Moses to make a snake on a staff for the people to look at when they got bit. And if they did...they lived. The preacher had really good points. What stood out to me was that God didn't remove the snakes from the camp, instead, He made them have faith to simply look at a snake to be saved from death. And of course we know that when God sent Jesus, we look to Him to be saved and you can actually read a whole lot more about that in the Bible.

I'm getting to the point. Sometimes, we think that if our life is going to be really good, that bad thing or that bad whatever needs to be removed from our life in order for us to enjoy it. But the truth is, sometimes, God leaves that situation "as is" with one exception, He asks us to look upon Him.

So maybe there are some messes that will get cleaned up and resolved and others, we learn to live with and look upon Him Who can save us. It's not even about getting that situation made right. It's more about the fact that we are being taught to look upon Him. Are we willing to look upon Him when snakes are still in our camp?

Removing Wallpaper

I stopped when I ran out of steam, literally.

I have been removing wallpaper and it does not surrender easily.

I have removed border before and I never realized what a light task that was. Then, I came upon THE wallpaper. The thick kind that has been glued on with wallpaper superglue. The kind that has bonded with the wall itself and has no plan on parting from it.

When we first looked at this house, when I stepped into the bathroom, it literally took my breath away. Dark, forest green wallpaper with little gold diamonds. And to top it off, a dark, purple flower border. I didn't know what to say. I knew that if we bought the house, it was coming down.

But it hasn't been coming down without a fight. I tried the "tiger" that punctures little holes into the thick wallpaper to allow the thick paper to absorb the wallpaper remover solution. All that did was make the wallpaper come off in tiny little strips and left the wall very gooey.

It was off to "steam" if off. And that works much, much better. But it is still tedious. At times, I would get long, wide strips off all at once and I felt like some kind of genius. But those moments were few and far between. I was praying as my gooey fingers and little putty knife scraped away the bits of wallpaper that there's nothing worse in the world. But there is. There are lots of things worse. And I don't know if it was supposed to help me, but there were plenty of things way worse than removing wallpaper.

I was getting quite a long list of really awful things in the world that's much worse than removing wallpaper, but I ran out of steam. My little steamer ran out of water. That was my cue to take a break. And clean up my mounds of sticky, gooey wallpaper pieces.

By the way, don't let your kids help you pick up the pieces. Because you can end up with two gooey kids with no wallpaper pieces actually in the garbage bag.

Tires On Pizza

"Hey!" Karsten said, staring at his pizza. "I wanted tires on my pizza!"

"Tires?" I asked, very puzzled. I imagined little pieces of black rubber on the pizza.

"Oh," Zachary interpreted (most older siblings can speak toddler), "he wants those little black round things."

"Oh, you mean black olives?" I asked.

"Yeah, those!" Karsten said.

If Zachary wasn't there, I would have had no idea what Karsten wanted and would have thought it was just another one those things that he said, that didn't make sense.

There are times that we get "beyond" understanding and we stop understanding the simple things. Experts and really smart people may never have figured out what Karsten was saying. But a five year old who knew him, knew his ways knew what he was talking about.

We don't need more "smarts" to understand God's ways. We need to know Him, know His ways. And really there's no book on toddler speak. One only learns it through coming into contact and relationship with one. And each one is vastly different. But Zachary knows enough toddler speak to help us out. And it's a good thing, because it sure would have been weird thinking that Karsten wanted tires on his pizza.

Summer!

The best way to enjoy summer is as a kid.

It has been since I was a kid that I got this much sun from "playing" outside.

Part of it is that we lived in Duluth where the summer wasn't really summer. It got hot and humid, but it was hard to enjoy being outside because of the 'squitos.

Since moving, I felt out of sorts and disoriented. But I'm starting to find my groove.

The kids really help. We have been going to the park by our house. It's walking distance so we get exercise. There's a "splash pad." It's hard to describe except there's these colorful metal poles and figures that spray water all over this cemented area. It's really pretty cool.

We also went to a wading pool that's from a few inches up to 18 inches of water. The kids love that. It's been fun to have 70-80 degree weather and enjoy it.

Our yard is too small to really have to work too long outside. As of now, there's no plants to maintain. So now when we go outside, we do it for fun. And that's the way it should be, at least for the summer.

I Don't Organize

There are some things I don't do well (actually there are lots of things), but there are some things I am terrible at.

I always ignored those comments that people made about my room or my desk. When we moved, I realized how bad I was at organizing. Taking things out of boxes and looking around to see where I should put it, gave me an instant headache.

My sister Katie came to help me, and boy did I need it. She rearranged things that I had "placed" in the room. She created more space and still put more stuff in the room. I am baffled. This process is out of my league. It almost makes feel like I can't do anything.

It boggles my mind how people can look at something and see how it should be placed or organized. It wears me completely out to organize.

It helped me a lot when I heard a friend say that we should work on our strengths. When we pour our time and energy into a weakness, trying to improve it, we only become slightly better. For example, if I got books on how to become more organized, I'd improve from a terrible organizer to a bad organizer.

So, I can't organize. My sister and Jason both are natural organizers. That's why I need them both. Let me remember names and faces. Let me listen with heart and give you counsel. But pul---leeeze....don't ask me to organize!

When A House Becomes A Home

Jason and I have moved four times since we've been married. Yes, that's FOUR times. It's an average of moving every two years. It's a lot of work, but Jason says it's worth it because of all of the equity we've gained.

I haven't really paid attention, but I should have. When does a house become a home? I don't know how many days or months. But I know some things. Just because our things are here in this house, it doesn't make it our home, just yet. The settling in process is pretty complex.

I think that we're closer to our house becoming a home when:

I don't have to google directions to the grocery store.
We know most of our neighbors by name.
I can drive home on autopilot without searching for each street.
I wake up in the middle of the night and don't feel disoriented that there's a window on that side.
I can give directions to our family and friends who live in all different directions.
I know where the good places to eat in town are.
I know where our new doctor, hair stylist, our veterinarian are located.
Friends and family have visited, ate and shared with us in the house.

I have no idea when I will stop feeling disoriented. I don't know when I will stop feeling as if I am out of sorts. I don't know when the grieving process of leaving a church family and community stops and the assimilation into the new life and community becomes more prominent.

Change never impacted me so much. At least I don't recall. It may just be that it's been awhile since I've had a significant change happening in my life. I can't wait to be feeling at home again.

More Than Fireworks

This year's fireworks show in St. Cloud was the best ever. It may just be because I haven't been to see fireworks in a long time, but this year made it very worthwhile.

This is our first week in St. Cloud and even though unpacking isn't complete, we decided that we needed to celebrate and enjoy our nation's holiday.

We made the trek down to one of the parks near the Mississippi river with a couple of chairs and mosquito spray in hand. We parked blocks away and we saw the swarm of people already gathered to watch the fireworks.

It was especially meaningful for me this year to hold one of our kids in my lap and watch the fireworks. Jason sat next to me with Zachary on his lap.

It's great to see fireworks with a toddler. Their reactions are immediate and enthusiastic.

It was great to see families out together, playing, eating and just enjoying the really gorgeous day.

We usually did a fireworks fundraiser for the last three years and it was nice not to be working and enjoying the day with the rest of the city.

I thought of our soldiers who weren't with their families and their families who were missing them.

I thought how much the cost of living has gone up but some things are still free: time with our families and friends.

I thought of how free we are to complain about our country and it's leaders, while enjoying all of the benefits of being a citizen in this great country.

As these thoughts flooded my mind, I sat in awe of how much we have to be thankful for.

The fireworks finale was the best finale I've ever seen. The intensity of the fireworks and their splendor actually made my heart race. The crowd was in total appreciation as well, as they whistled, clapped and hollered at the show. I hope that we all remembered too, that what we were celebrating today is really worth celebrating. It has cost individuals and families a great deal for us to enjoy this day, the way we do.

So thank you to those who made it possible for us to enjoy the many benefits that we do. May God bless you. May we never take for granted all that we have and enjoy.

Moved

We are now in St. Cloud. We're moved but not settled in yet.

There are still boxes to unpack and it may just take awhile this time!

But here's what's really cool. Our neighbors are really friendly. We're near EVERYTHING. I am accustomed to a 25 minute drive to Target. We normally shopped Wal Mart because it was closer, but now Target and nearly any other store is about three to four miles away. We're near the mall, we're near restaurants and anything else that we would need.

It's hard to believe that we are now in a new city and new home. Our house doesn't feel like home yet. I suppose after we unpack everything and get some pictures on the wall we will feel like it's home.

Our last Sunday at our church was one of the saddest days of my life. But God helped us through it and we had many loved ones there with us. We will miss our church family a lot. We don't fully know what God wants to do here, but we trust that we will know in time.

I'm all for adventures but nowadays, it seems like all of this "excitement" has me worn out.

I will try to keep this updated as we unpack and get our house set up....

Enjoy the summer!

Not Normal

"Mom, you better take me to the hospital," Zachary said seriously.

"Why? What's wrong with you?" I asked.

"I'm not acting normal. Remember what the nurse said?" he explained.

Zachary was referring to when he hit his head on the brick fireplace downstairs and he was bleeding. I rarely can maintain composure when there's blood and it's even worse when it's one of the kids who's bleeding. This time, I was in a controlled panic when I saw him hit his head and saw the blood running down his head. My first reaction was to want to take him to the hospital.

I called the nurse on duty and she had recommended that as long as I was able to stop the bleeding from the small gash on his scalp and that as long as he was acting normal, that he'd be ok. I relayed this to Jason, all the while, Zachary was listening intently to every word.

"You're acting normal," I laughed.

"But, I'm not!" he insisted.

"Yes you are," I said.

Thankfully for all of us, the definition of "normal" is pretty broad. Otherwise the hospital would be full of people who are "not normal."

Transition Time

Transition time: that awkward time between being there from here. It's that weird time where you're not fitting in anywhere.

Right now, we are in the transition time of our move. In less than a week, we will need to be out of our house. But I haven't packed everything yet, because we still want to eat, shower and sleep. So the day before and the day of, we will be doing accelerated packing so that everything will be ready for the move. Some things we can't move on the moving truck but will have to keep with us. That will be interesting.

We will no longer have our address here but we won't be able to use our new address til we move there. And so we are in transition time. For nine days, we will be nowhere permanent and somewhere temporary. (Weird statement, I know. Transition is like that.)

The things that I think about in transition time don't have answers. How will our church do after we leave? How will we do once we move? How long will it take for us to get settled and make new friends? Find a new church? Become familiar faces in the places we shop.

Right now, when I go to Wal Mart, the greeter knows me and the check out lady hollers at me, how good our boys are. I eat at a Chinese restaurant where they know us and I introduce people who are with me, as if they are part of the family. How long before we establish that? Who will holler at me out of nowhere? Who will yell at me at the bus stop? When will my neighbors know us enough to wave at us or come strolling up the drive to chat?

We've made several moves but this one is more jarring. We're leaving the church that we planted and the friends we've made, to be two and a half hours away. So I am a little "jarred." I am looking forward to the time when I can write here in this blog about new friends and new places and be out of transition time. I am ready for that time. I am ready to be done transitioning.

How To Spell "Sorry"

We had a moving company out awhile ago to give us a bid to see how much it would cost to move all of this stuff. And while the guy was pretty expedient and didn't waste any time flying through our house jotting down little notes, apparently it wasn't fast enough or interesting enough for the boys.

And they always have that "sense" when it is NOT a good time to bug mommy. But they know it's not a good time and go ahead with their plan. I am sure that kids plan it. I am sure when I am on the phone they are consorting to see how they can get me totally riled up so I can "yell" (without uttering a sound) at them to tell them to quiet down. I try to lock myself in my room but they end up banging on the door which is almost worse than having them follow me around making requests.

Anyway--that day, when the moving guy was there, as he was explaining what they can take and what they can't (think airline policies), such as flammables, aerosol cans and bombs, I could barely hear him over the sound of my kids' squeals. I flashed them "the look" to no avail, as I smiled and nodded at the moving guy trying to explain. Their antics kept on and I was starting to feel very irritated. I grabbed Zachary who was closest to me, and told him to sit on the couch and not to move. I told his brother to do the same.

After the moving guy left, I had quite forgot about the boys and their antics until Zachary tapped me on the side and gave me a note that read: "S R E." "Honey, what does this say?"
"Sorry!" he said. Now, what was he in trouble for?

"Hola" Hats

We had the funniest morning today.

I had laid some clothes out for the boys to get dressed and Zachary came down first.

He looked like he had carpi's on. He had put on Karsten's clothes. Zachary has commented that Karsten has his clothes on. "Honey," I explain, "You're too big for those clothes now."

"But those are my clothes!" he says.

Then, they both wanted to wear their new sombreros they had received from our friends, who just came back from Mexico.

"Let's put on our "hola" hats!" Zachary said. They did and they looked so cute. Seeing them with their sombreros made me smile the rest of the day. And oh, when I thought of Zachary in Karsten's pant made me laugh too.

Friends Like These

I woke up this morning feeling totally refreshed and ready to take on packing, or whatever came my way.

I realized that as we make this transition, we have some very good friends and family who are helping us.

I have been packing some delicate items that need a lot of cushioning and these friends are like cushions of life. They help us take on the challenges of moving, making big changes and helping us in ways that makes this time a lot less stressful.

I have a friend that I pray with each week who helps me keep perspective and sanity. She really hears me out. She gives me the encouragement that I need and shares with me her life as well. It helps me when I hear stories from her life. It makes me realize that we are really all in this together. We've known each other since I was 19. She knows me through and through and she's one who allows me to be completely transparent.

I have some other friends who have been so gracious as to take the kids while I pack. This has been such a huge blessing, because it is easier to pack when the kids aren't around asking me a million questions and requests! "Mommy can I? Mommy can you? Mommy how come?" are all questions that come flying my way.

But even though moving can be stressful, if you have some "cushions" to get you from one place to the other, it's not so bad.

Everyone should have friends like these. I am grateful for such people in our life.

Junk of Every Sort!

It's so crazy around here. There are McDonald fry boxes everywhere. We are making our fourth move in nine years. We know which boxes work the best. The fry boxes seem to be the perfect size.

As I pack, (as I have done many other times) I say to myself that we are getting rid of some of this STUFF (Jason calls it JUNK). There is way too much stuff to pack. We don't NEED a lot of the stuff that we have. But it is much like our emotional life, we collect and accumulate so much stuff. Even when we don't need it or use it, we keep stuff around.

It reminds me that we ought to just get rid of stuff before it accumulates and makes a home for itself in our house. We should say "no" before we even think of buying it. We should be content with what we have.

Material things can be a lot like emotional stuff. We don't have to let things accumulate. We don't have to "house" anything that is useless and taking up space. Really! Well that feels better. So here's to not having to give our time or space to accumulating stuff (or junk) we don't need...figuratively or literally.

Summer Is Near

In most other places, people can declare that summer is here. But we are really just beginning to experience warmth here in Duluth. We had a very rainy, windy and cold past week. Thankfully for the couple that I married, the weather was gorgeous today. We all thanked God, because we knew that it could have been very blustery on that beach.

We are thankful for the trees blooming in fullness. The fragrance is welcome. The sight is welcome too. We have a cherry tree near our sidewalk leading to our house and it is awesome walking by the beautiful tree.

We welcome summer here, even if it's for two days. :-) Where we are headed, it will stay warmer longer and that's a huge plus!

Enjoy the warmth, wherever you are!

Bought A House!

We did it!

Well, God did it. He helped us purchase a house. It was in our price range, in the new city and it was more than we could have asked for. God exceeded our expectations.

It does feel like we are on fast forward, but we trust that God is doing things in His timing and we are really along for the ride. We are so very thankful for what God is doing.

It does feel pretty crazy around our house. We are packing until we just can't pack anymore. I know that it's time for a break when looking at a box makes me feel tired. Even in our sheer exhaustion, we know how very blessed we are that things are doing so smoothly.

The new house is different mostly in terms of the location. We are surrounded by trees and huge yards in the front and back here. But we are going to be getting used to a smaller yard (less upkeep) in St. Cloud. We will have closer neighbors and we are quite ok with that. We want to get to know people fairly quickly and being outside in the summer makes that very easy.

Hopefully after we move, we can post some pictures.

I am beginning to feel more excited about what God has in store, while remaining patient as to when He will show us more of the picture.

Have a great week.

Lessons From Marriage

Jason and I will have been married nine years tomorrow! I realize that I'm not a relationship expert, but after being married some time, you learn a thing or two. Here's a few things that I've learned about marriage. A Top Nine List (for nine years of marriage!)

1. Complement one another, not complete. The movie world has introduced some mythical, romantic ideas that don't stand up to the real world. And that whole line "you complete me" is one of them. When people enter into a relationship expecting the other person to complete them, they are usually let down by their unrealistic expectations. It's more about complementing one another with their strengths and weaknesses. And from my point of view, we have been made to be completed by God.
2. Don't try to change the other person. Differences can be appreciated. I think one of the biggest hurdles couples face is that we have a tendency to want to change the other one to suit our preferences. And once I realized that Jason and I are different and when it comes down to it, some things aren't changeable. Personality traits for instance. While we've had tremendous influence on each other's lives, we haven't succeeded in changing one another's core personality traits. Jason still has organized underwear and sock drawers. I am still talking nonstop.
3. Be each other's biggest cheerleader. We don't always like the same things, but we try and encourage each other in what we're really into. I don't understand numbers, money or banking. But this is Jason's world and I ask questions to get a better understanding and really try and get a sense of what it is that he does. He doesn't understand how I can talk for three hours on the phone about nothing, but he sends me away with sisters or girlfriends because he knows it's good for me (and him).
4. Find time for leisure. By far, this has been one of our biggest challenges. We have tried and struggled to have more balance in our lives. It's one we need improvement in.
5. Find time as a couple. Another area of struggle for us. We realize the importance of going on dates, but we don't always get away. And that's the point of number 4 and 5, couples have strengths and areas of improvement on an ever-changing basis.
6. Don't discuss important things when one or both of you are tired or hungry. I say that when people are tired or hungry, they resort to acting like infants. They get cranky! I look back and find that our fights would have been prevented if we would have waited to discuss weighty topics when we were rested and full!
7. Fight fair. I've counseled many couples for premarital counseling. I've learned that fighting is normal. Some couples don't fight and see an absence of conflict as an indicator of health. It's not. Two individuals will agree to disagree. But neither is fighting all of the time about everything or nothing, healthy. I encourage people to see "fighting" as an opportunity to gain a better understanding of each other. And no name calling, tearing one another down etc.
8. Laugh together. Jason makes me laugh. I know that a sense of humor really cushions the bumps and enhances life in general.
9. Lastly, I am a firm believer that God at the center is the key to ultimate stability in life whether you're married or not. We both live our life for God and He ultimately gives us the guidance that we need.

Our House Sold!

Well, it's official. We are moving! In three weeks, we will be out of our house, but we will not be in our new place, until we find one!

The house sold in six weeks. Which is good, but it wasn't without a little drama. It's weird to be in a housing market in which people think they can offer really low. So in the end, we got an acceptable offer, but we were not initially happy with the first offer and their counter offer. Also, we are making a lot of concessions for them and it's makes selling the house leaving me with mixed feelings.

But the bottom line is the house sold. So we will be living among boxes for the next few weeks. Moving again! But we are looking forward to being in the new community.

Selling Your House In A Tough Market

We are in the market to buy a house and we realize that there are lots of things that people can do to help sell their house in a very tough market. This is not a realtor's perspective or the media's perspective. This is a buyer's perspective.

There are lots of things that we can't control when selling a house, but these are some insights from things that we saw from searching for a home today.

1. Curb appeal does matter. We saw unmowed lawns and assumed that no one was living there anymore and sure enough there was indeed someone living there. We saw weeds that were almost as tall as small trees.

2. Odor can be blinding. We walked into several houses that wreaked of cat urine so bad, that we could not focus on the house. No matter how great the house, we could not get past the odor.

3. Location does matter. Unfortunately, you can't change that, but it may be the reason the house doesn't sell. We saw beautiful houses sitting near the freeway and we heard nothing but the whir of tires and motors.

4. No yard can mean no sale. We looked at some nice houses that had nothing for a yard. It was a huge deterrent because we have small children with bundles of energy to get rid of.

5. Too small of bedrooms can be a deterrent. One house was gorgeous but had a master bedroom that was so small, a full sized bed would barely fit in there.

6. Take your animals with you if you can during a showing. We had a small tiger weaving in and out of our feet while we were looking at the house. Actually it was quite a large cat who was very interested in what we were doing in his house.

7. Dirty anything can be a huge deterrent. But especially dirty carpet and dirty appliances. Some cases, it was foreclosed homes in which there was obvious anger being taken out on the house. If it's not in the budget to replace the carpet, have it deep cleaned before you start showing your house.

8. Be available for showings. We noticed that some home owners did not return a call for the showing or didn't want to show that day. This is ok if you're not in a hurry to sell, but know that you may lose a potential buyer who is in town for one day.

9. Do leave additional information on the house on the table. It gives buyers more info if they need it.

10. Paint color is very personal. We noticed some houses with very unusual colors and unusual designs on the walls. A room or two with your special artistic touch might be ok, but if you do every single room in purples, plaids, polka dots or dark colors, you may turn buyers off because they don't want to have to paint the entire house once they move in.

We have heard all sorts of things about the housing market. But the truth is, people are still buying. But in a market with many choices, simple things can really make or break a deal.

If you can't change some things, change the things that you can. Things that are minimal investments may bring long term profit.

Pictures of Korean Family

My dad when he was still a bachelor. He died in his 30's.

My cousins from my dad's side at a wedding.

Korean Roots

I received a very articulate letter from a Korean cousin several weeks ago and just today got the translated letter. I could not believe what it feels like to be connected with biological family, even though I've never grown up with them.

I received the pictures from her too, and shared those with some of our friends and family.

I didn't think about what it would have been like for our relatives when we were given up for adoption. Now that we've made a connection, it has opened my eyes to the whole situation in a new light. It's possible that our relatives may have taken us in. From the letter, it's clear that there were some strong feelings about us being given up for adoption.

"Your oldest paternal uncle and his wife were very emotionally hurt and in a lot of pain by that (our being placed for adoption). Every time there is a program on television of the adopted person returning to Korea to look for their birth families, they [uncle and aunt] watch the show eagerly and think maybe something will come, but they have not seen any of your faces. We are so happy to know that you are all healthy and living well. Your uncle and aunt [my parents] feel very sorry to you that you were placed for adoption. However, all of our family members feel that this was very fortunate and they are happy that you are doing well there."

It seems everything in our life at the moment is changing. We are moving to a new community and embarking on new adventures. Yet, there are things like this letter that remind me of where I've come from and there is something reassuring about that.

For those of you who don't know my story, my dad died when I was eight and my brother, sister and I were given up for adoption.

Preschool Graduation

Well, he's graduated! And off to kindergarten he goes. It's a bit funny how preschoolers "graduate." But they make it pretty significant and the preschoolers are pretty serious.

I commented to another parent as we waited for the kids to file in: "Parents are so silly. Look at us!" We were all outfitted with cameras, camcorders and up and out of our seat to get the perfect picture. Good thing everyone else was acting just as crazy.

You would have thought that this was a red carpet event with celebrities. And they were. Little tiny stars making their way to the stage. And really that's how it should be, we should be giving attention not to those unknown movie stars but to our very own family members.

As we looked at the slideshow of their year, it reminded us that we parents weren't silly at all. We were really taking in the moment. We were reminding ourselves that moments are fleeting. They do grow up too fast and one day, we will be up and our of our seats capturing their graduation from high school and then college.

We do need to celebrate and highlight more moments. We need to get together and make memories. I want to soak it up and not let it be forgotten that our first son graduated from preschool.

We ought to have more crazy, enthusiasm for life moments and capturing them. Here's to you Zachary! We're proud of you...not because you made it through preschool, but because you got be make friends, have fun and make great memories this year.

Lessons From the ER

I've never been to an ER for myself and due to the nature of what was going on with me, I had the option of waiting a week to two weeks to get treatment or go to the ER.

And really, the matter was urgent but not a true emergency. And good thing! The ER is not the most efficient operation around. We often see shows on TV that show the ER as a fast-paced, dramatic encounters with people being wheeled in bleeding, unconscious and severely injured.

In a real ER, you have people who walk in and they all seem to be fairly healthy. The worse case that I saw was someone with a cut hand and he was holding a towel. But the wait is very long to see someone for the "urgent" matter.

Jason and the kids waited with me for about an hour and a half. Then I was admitted. Then I was brought to a semi-private room. It had a sliding door and big curtain. It was semi-private because if the door is left open a crack, you can see people walking by and hear lots of beeps, doctors talking to patients, nurses being given orders. I saw a cleaning lady mopping. I heard the staff trying to get a response from an elderly person. They didn't know who they were, where they were or what year it was.

I looked around the room which was painted an outdoor Minnesota scene. It had a majestic buck on top of a big rock, a doe and a little fawn. On the other side, there were squirrels, a rabbit and a black bear.

Each time someone came in, I was jolted back to reality. But really, I was tempted to fall asleep in the bed. They would say, "Someone will be with you in a few minutes." The minutes went on and on. There was no clock in the room. I had no real sense of time. It felt like I was in there hours.

I saw a total of four different nurses. The doctor looked harried and I felt like I was bothering him by coming in. I also wondered how much it was costing, laying in that little bed. I just wanted to be out of pain and go back home normal.

After it was all said and done, I ended up having some quiet time in that ER. You can't go anywhere. You have a loose gown that comes apart at the slightest movement. You can't do anything until you're told to. So I talked to God and hoped that the procedure wouldn't hurt too much (and it did!). I lamented that I'm never ever good with pain and I wasn't even ashamed to cry like a baby.

I came out finally with several prescriptions and a referral to a surgeon. The total time? About four hours. So, my journey continues next week with a meeting with a surgeon. It's not a big deal. It's not something that's life threatening, but it seems it's those non-life threatening things that end up taking up so much of our time and money.

Most of our encounters in life aren't life and death. Even when it feels like the end of the world, there are very few things that actually deserve that kind of attention. Very few people admitted into the ER have life-threatening issues, just urgent ones that need attention sooner than later.

But I realized that we want things fixed NOW. We want results NOW. Even in the ER, where things supposedly are taken care of faster, are not. Life is that way. We have to wait. There are really no short cuts to certain destinations. We have to go through it. We have to be patient. Even urgent matters take time to take care of.

I Used To Be Normal

I used to be fairly normal until we had kids.

I used to never drink anything with stuff floating in it, because I shared it with someone smaller than me, who wanted a drink.

I used to get roses and carnation for flowers. Now I get dandelions and weeds on a regular basis for "flowers." Still, I "ooh and aah" as if they were freshly picked orchids.

I used to sleep through the night with no one asking if they can "sleep with you" and kick you in the back all night or have their head squished into your back.

I've finished off the kids' unfinished food as I cleared the table, while washing it all down with their unfinished juice. (It's a wonder I don't weight twice my weight).

I hurriedly eat melting ice-cream bars, because they've fiddled around for 20 minutes and decided that they are too full to finish it.

I've learned to "yell" at my kids while I'm on the phone, never uttering a sound.

Multi-tasking includes talking on the phone and putting the laundry and dishes away at the same time.

I used to go to the bathroom and take baths without interruptions.

No one asked me what I was doing and why I was doing "that" every time I did something.

I've never had to find so many ways to get out marker, paint, juice, blood and grass from couches, chairs, cushions, walls and clothes.

I've never had anyone perch on top of the arm of the chair as I ate my salad and chirped "tomato! tomato!" (meaning that I had to give him all of my tomatoes.)

So, "normal" has gone to the way side. But it's been replaced with better alternatives.

It's been five years of first-hand experiences. (Then, two years later, throw in another little guy who defies everything you've learned from the first guy).

It's seeing two little guys who look and act just like their dad (although he often points out that they act like me).

It's realizing that we've been given living treasures (who often won't sit still).

I used to be normal, but now I'm being refined, by two little people who never stop teaching.

Nikki From Florida

I cried when I heard Nikki's voice the other day.

It had been a very long time since I heard her voice. We kept in touch by e-mail, but phone conversations were few and far between. Hearing her voice caused all of the memories and feeling about her rush back all at once.

Nikki and I met in Minneapolis. I was 19 and getting a taste of college. She was 20 and exploring different cities. She was a Florida girl who drove all the way to Meeni-SO-Ta in her white Mustang to experience something new.

She and I were meant to be, even if we didn't think so. Right off, we got off on the wrong foot. We irritated each other at first and then became fast friends.

I remember the times we drove around Minneapolis in her Mustang with her crazy music on. She loved to drive....anywhere. She was up for a road trip at any given moment. We formed a tight bond with a group of us that summer. There was Nikki, Sarah from Wisconsin and my boyfriend at the time. We went everywhere together.

When fall came, I stayed at U of MN and she moved. But we stayed in touch.

Five years later, she drove in another white Mustang all the way from Michigan to be in our wedding. This was the first time she got to meet my new husband. She hung out with us a few days and drove back. But we said that she would find "her man" soon. And she did.

After she got married, I was out her way and she picked me up and she drove me through Detroit giving me a historical picture of what had happened there. She always had an appreciation for architecture and design. I told her that when I was around her, I saw the world with new eyes.

We kept in touch sending cards and letters. Always managing to keep up with what we were doing. She always seemed to be the older sister who gave me that encouraging note or phone call when I needed it most.

Now she has a little baby girl and we talked with little bits of interruptions here and there as she tended to her baby. Our phone conversation was cut short when Karsten got a boo boo on his knee and his screaming and our dog barking made it impossible to continue our talk.

One phone call and I was reminiscing about the way our friendship began. We're in such difference places now. Talking to each other about life...with husbands and children added. Hopefully, one day we can meet each other in person, with our husbands and kids in tow.