The Return To School

As Zachary heads to first grade and Karsten starts preschool, I will be heading back to school too. It's true, I have made the leap.

For as long as I can remember, I have toyed with the idea of going back to get my Masters. But it never seemed to be the right time. I considered going to school when I was living in Proctor and actually took the GRE. That was a pretty intimidating experience. We decided that planting a church and going to grad school was a pretty hefty load, so I decided to postpone going to grad school, indefinitely.

Then what seemed like a fairly casual get together at a girlfriend's house opened up that can of worms all over again. I met a gal there who was in grad school getting her Masters in counseling. I was more than intrigued. I was impressed by her experience in grad school and on the way home, I couldn't stop talking about how I could maybe finally go back to school. But it was still just talk at that point.

I was right in the middle of a "what do I do now" season. We had resigned from our church and moved. I knew that I wasn't ready for a big ministry assignment anytime soon. We were both exhausted and needed a time to recuperate. But as I sat on the sidelines (but not entirely unoccupied) I wondered what I was supposed to do next. The conversation about school started to take on a little more intensity and possibility. It no longer looked as if I would always hold that thought in the back of my mind for some day. That "some day" had finally arrived.

I called St. Cloud State University and made an appt to talk to the dept head for the Marriage and Family Therapy program. I also scheduled for a tour, with Karsten in tow. As I walked around on campus, I had butterflies and a new excitement that this would possibly be a place I would be walking around going to my classes. The idea seemed a little more real but still very remote.

I grabbed an application packet and I decided after much prayer to just go for it. The application process seemed to be designed to weed out any half-hearted applicants. I sweated over the Statement of Purpose and garnered support and feedback from my friends who had already navigated the process. As I handed it in, I held my breath.

I got a call for the interview. I had never been so nervous for an interview! When the day came, I was surprised to see a large line of candidates already at the registration table. There were 50 candidates there that day. And they were accepting 16 students into the program. The candidates looked around nervously weighing out their odds. We were told that it would take several weeks for them to get back to us. They had more students to interview. I walked away from that interview feeling as if I had given them the best picture of who I was. But I was hoping and praying that I would be one of the 16 in the Marriage and Family Therapy program.

Surprisingly, several days later, I got a letter from SCSU. My heart began pounding and I was thinking in my mind that it was really good or really bad that I already had a letter in the mail box. I had been accepted! Panic and excitement simultaneously flooded my mind. I was so excited to have made it to this part of the journey, but now I knew that the hard work was going to start.

So, as I spend the last two weeks of my summer before the first day of school, I am nervous. It's something I've always wanted to do and now that it's here, I tremble with all that it entails. I am no longer a naive first time freshmen heading onto campus. I've been through college and the sleepless nights. This time, we have two kids and I will be working part time at a church. Am I proud to have made it this far? I am. But I'm also praying for wisdom and strength because this is no small task. Yet, I am grateful for the opportunity to fulfill my dream.