Dating My Husband

Jason and I have always been terrible about leisure time. We have always spent plenty of time together, but it wasn't always for "fun."

We're both first-borns, which leads us to the tendency of being over responsible for everything. When we were in ministry, we spent a great deal of time at church, doing church things. Even when kids came along, we just threw them into that mix. Everywhere we went, we went as a family, but not being able to just enjoy each other.

Many friends tried to tell us to make sure we had a date night. Some of our friends have weekly date nights. We applaud them. We would like to be in that crowd, but too often we fall short.

For now, we haven't been converted to the idea of dating once a week. But we do, when opportunity affords us, go out by ourselves.

This weekend, a neighbor invited our boys to spend the night with their son. They live right across the street. But as soon as I realized that the boys would be gone for a whole evening, I saw my ticket. When Jason got home, I told him that I had a surprise. "We get to go on a date!" Normally, he's a super task-oriented, all business guy. I have to be his sense of fun. I tend to be the one who insists on social activities that don't involve mowing, organizing or remodeling. To my surprise, he asked "where are we going?

What do we do on our occasional date?

We go out to eat, alone. It's at a restaurant that doesn't have kiddie toys or happy meals. No potty breaks. The evening is free of: "Please sit down." "Please eat your food." "Please save some of your milk for the rest of the meal" (as they guzzle it down in two seconds). It's peaceful.

But, I learned that when we don't have our kids around, we talk about the kids. (I know!!) We talk about the funny things that they say and do.

We love watching a movie and that exorbitant price is worth it! Why? Because it's uninterrupted! Normally at home, we are interrupted a minimum of 20 times for drinks, snacks, arguing etc.

We usually end by shopping alone. No one asks us for that toy. We don't have to say, "No, you have lots of toys at home that you don't play with." Still, even as we enjoy being away from our kids, we are thinking about what they might want or need.

But the best part about going on a date is that we remember what it felt like when we spent every day together when we dated. We couldn't stand the thought of not seeing each other every day. It's nice to be holding my husband's hand instead of a tiny little one (although I love that too). It's nice to be able to sit next to my husband instead of acting as a bookend on the other end.

Even though we don't get to "date" often, we enjoy every date that we do have. It reminds us that we are multi-dimensional, multi-facted people, not just multi-taskers. It reminds me that before I became a mom, and before Jason became a dad, we were a couple. We were a couple who loved to be a couple and do couple things. We love being a mom and dad, but we also love knowing that we are still a couple who can enjoy being "kidless" for a night.