Showered With Seaweed

It feels like it's been an incredibly long day.

I've been sorting through my emotions with various people in my life. And it took all day to sort of put together a semblance of what I'm feeling. I realized that there was just no preparing for something like this. I have really just been given this opportunity to reconnect with my mom and I am overwhelmed by it and not always adept at handling what I'm experiencing.

But as I talked with my friend tonight, I realized something. Receiving the package had such an impact on me for many reasons. But I commented that when my mom said she was sending seaweed, I expected a little package. One that might fit between the outside door and our inside door. But when I got the huge box and pulled out box after box of seaweed, I realized that my mom was literally showering me with seaweed.

She went over the top...to convey that she loved me. In her way, from where she was, she sent the message loud and clear. And it felt overwhelming for me. It's been a long time since a mom mothered me like that. I realized that she held nothing back. I had told her I liked seaweed and it was what she was going to send...lots of it. There was no doubt that she was trying to say "I want to give you what you like." If she was able to send kimchi via airmail, she would have sent that too!

I don't fully grasp what I'm experiencing but I'm OK with that. For now, I am just sitting in awe of how blessed I am to experience a mother's love from afar.