First Conversation

My family and I were driving to a friend's house after a wedding. We were way up north in the country on a winding road. The cell phone rang and I didn't recognize the caller. I realized at once that it was my mom's friend. "Hyunjung!" she began. I recognized her voice. It was Inyoung. "Hi Inyoung!" I say.

She says, "Your mom is here. She wants to talk to you."

I hear some muffled sounds. "Hyungjung!" I hear my mom for the first time.

"Onyounghasayo ama!" I say to her. (Which means, how are you mom?")

"Oh!" she exclaims, partly in disbelief and partly in joy and she starts talking rapidly in Korean. I listen, somewhat stunned and say, "No, no...I don't speak Korean."

"Ohhh," she says, sort of understanding. I start crying and she starts crying and we laugh some. We exchange no words...only emotions. From half way across the world, I am talking to my mom and we are exchanging not words, only emotion.

Finally, I gain my composure and carefully enunciate "Saronghasayo ama" (which means "I love you mom." She says over and over after me "Saronghasayo! Saronghasayo!" Then she pauses after some more emotional "ohhs". "I love you," she says so carefully in English. I start crying again. Inyoung takes the phone. "Oh, your mom, she so happy to talk to you and hear your voice. She says she loves you so much."

"Me too," I say through choked tears. It's hard for me to bear all of the emotion. I can't contain or grasp what I'm experiencing.

We talk more about me wanting to come to Korea. But it was difficult because Inyoung didn't understand me fully. She tells me that my mom will set up an e-mail account so that she can receive pictures from me. She wants to learn to use the computer she says. I reiterate that I will be coming to Korea. Inyoung says they will talk to me later. "Bye, bye, bye!" she says. I say good-bye and hang up the phone. Jason sits in the seat next to me, still driving. Looking at me, he says curiously "What did she say?" I can't respond right away...because I'm crying.

I tell him what was said through tears and I sometimes stop to try not to just ball. I can't believe that I had my first conversation with my mom. So few words but so much emotion. I think I'm still in a little bit of disbelief. Did I just talk to my mom? After 25 years? Did I really hear her voice? And did we just tell each other that we love each other? In each other's language? I am a grown woman, suddenly feeling like a child. How do I fill such different roles? How must my mom feel? There aren't words. Only emotions.

Now I fill my days (along with school and many other things) planning a trip to see my mom in person. Part of me wonders if I can handle it? How does one prepare to reunite with a loved one...when so much time has passed? Only God can help me through such a journey...