Some of our church people went to the local park after church today. The kids all wanted to play on the playground.
Karsten is three and nothing is too scary for him. He yelled, "Higher! Higher!" as he was swinging way up in the air. I was afraid he would get dumped out of that huge swing. When we moved onto the fireman's pole, I was nervous. There was quite a bit of distance between the platform and the pole, so I had to hold him and place him on the pole. It was quite a long drop and my stomach dropped thinking of what would happen if he didn't hang on and slide down. So I held onto him as he slid down and squealed in delight. "Again!" he said.
Zachary, seeing Karsten's success decided to try it. I had to lift him up and put him on the pole too. Then, he hung there. His hands were sticky and he wasn't willing to slide down. "You can do it!" I coaxed. He eventually made it down and his reaction was totally different than Karsten's,"I'm scared!" Zachary yelled up.
I was afraid too. So I went for the monkey bars. I only made it to two bars. My arms felt like they were going to rip out of my body. "I'm gonna feel that tomorrow!" I thought. I remember as a little girl I swung on those bars back and forth, hung upside down and felt like an agile monkey. I settled for the swings and as I got higher, my stomach felt like it was dropping. "I don't remember swinging being so scary!" I yelled out.
I noticed the progression in the boys and then me. The older we get, the less we're inclined to take risks. Part of it is because our bodies won't handle it. Part of it is, personality. Zachary by nature is much more cautious. Karsten throws caution to the wind. Still, both are more willing to try if Jason or I am near.
I am willing to take risks if my Father is near. I know that if He's by my side, I can go on a limb. I have learned that any new place, new venture with God beats being in a safe place on my own. I don't calculate risks based on what I have to lose or gain. I calculate based on whether God will be there with me. If He says, "You can do it!" I do it. Even if my stomach drops as I swing high.
2 comments:
From one who has overwhelming insecurities and who lives cautiously like Zachary, thank you for the reminder that it isn't the costs or gains or losses that matter but rather that our Father is with us in whatever path and journey we choose.
You're so funny. And such a reminder that God brought two totally different girls together to be best buds. But like Zachary, you live in the moment and savor life, even if it's on the safer side of things. :-)
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